Being love sick isn’t fun.
I’m really getting to the point where I’m not sure what I really want anymore.. I mean, I do know what I want & that’s you. But I just can’t handle you always blowing up on me out of no where. I believed you when you said you’d be a better man for me & you’d do whatever it takes to stop yourself from going crazy & stop hitting the walls again. I just don’t understand how things can go wrong in a matter of seconds. I really wish I knew what is up in your mind & what you really want out of this relationship. I’m trying to help you be a better you, for yourself & us. Why can’t it be easier though? I put up my sweat & blood for you for almost 2 years. I want you to understand that we don’t need any of these dumb arguements. It’ll just ruin us. I want you to see that we’re better than that. We both can be in a different stage where we dont have to scream at one another but just be calm & happy. I just question myself, “When is that really gonna happen?”. Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even understand me about what I’m feeling & what’s bothering me. Instead, you get crazy mad when I cry. You hurt yourself & you blame it on me. But did you ever think that maybe the reason why I always break down & cry is because you make me feel that way? But just because we get into bad arguement & no matter how bad I hate it when you start socking the walls doesn’t stop me from being your girl. 2010 is supposed to be our year. We’re supposed to be a stronger couple. We both know we’ll end up making up but sometimes I question, “Is this what you really want?” I’m not typing this for the benefit for others to read. Just need some time to think & somehow, express myself. We’ve tried so many times to work this out & for some reason, we end up in the same position. We break up, then we make up for almost 2 years. I’m just hoping one day, we’ll be okay to the point where i dont have to worry anymore..
